Fachidiot

Fachidiot is a derogatory German term for an expert who is highly skilled in their specific field but completely ignorant, oblivious, or lacking in common sense outside their narrow specialty. It describes someone with a “blinkered” view of multi-faceted problems who cannot see the bigger picture.

Bang! That was the sound that Sergeant Dave Shaw was used to, not the loud crack noise that had just spelled out the end of his career. Tripping over his own sniper rifle and smashing his knee on a rock had marked his final mission and medical dismissal. This life was all he had known and he had no idea how to make it outside the army. The thought consumed him, spiralling downwards into negativity on his flight home.

After his recovery, he started applying for jobs everywhere he could, trying to find a new career to bring new meaning to his life, taking every role that would have him. Customer Service on the phones, he kept shouting commands into the phone line. Stacking shelves, didn’t know his own strength and pushed the shelves over by accident. He couldn’t even make it in the gun range as his skills with a pistol were too sub-par to be deemed good enough to teach on the range. The list of failed jobs seemed endless.

And so Dave sat on a bench, highly uncertain of what he was going to do with his life. His rifle was all he’d known, and it was over. Across the street he witnessed a couple of youths handing over bags and taking cash, a drug deal plain as day. It took him a second before he shook away the idea, he wouldn’t lower himself to that level. Would he?

After a good minute of thinking he had an idea: he knew how to take a life; he knew how to do it stealthily; he knew rifles. He could be a hitman. He waited and followed the youths through the city to an alleyway door. After they had left, he let himself in and was greeted by two bodyguards and a well suited man sat in a plush leather chair.

The man leaned forward, “What brings you here?”

“I need a job.” Dave said. “I’m ex-military, I know how to shoot. I’m assuming there is someone you need gone, I can do that”.

The shadowed man leaned back and considered. It wasn’t long until a contract was signed (quite formal for an underground drug lord) and Dave was on his way to his first job, and also his last.

At 15:00 the next day, he was in place looking down his scope again. It felt natural, it felt right and he was ready to take the shot. His target was a local senator about to announce a heavy crackdown on the drug wars in the state. When he stood to talk, Dave would take the shot and leave. Easy job, easy money. He lined the shot up with the man sitting in the wings of the stage and prepared to take the shot. The senator began to walk on stage and Dave followed with slow breaths to steady his hands.

BANG.

Dave hadn’t pulled the trigger, the loud noise wasn’t his rifle. It had come from behind him and he turned adopting his old combat stance, preparing for the worst. It could not have prepared him for what he saw.

“Freeze! Put your hands on your head and kneel on the ground. We have this building surrounded, you’re under arrest.” Three police officers with guns all pointed at him. He knew he wasn’t going to make it and surrendered there and then.

Later in the interview room, he asked the officer if he could ask a question. The officer said he got one. “I did everything to ensure you couldn’t find me: I bought everything from different shops, I gave different addresses in each one, I paid for a double room so you’d think it was a couple. How did you find me?”

The officer looked at him and simply replied. “You told all three shops that tomorrow was going to be a firework display”, he said with a grin on his face. “And you paid for all the components on your personal credit card; AND paid for the room on the same credit card. It didn’t take long to realise what you were planning.”

Dismayed, Dave placed his head on the table in front of him. He had tried to be normal, he had tried to live a normal life, and failed. He was however happy he was going to get three square meals a day. At least he didn’t have to worry about that any more.