Idiot Plot
An idiot plot is one where the plot wouldn’t happen is the characters in the story were not idiots. To steal a better explanation from Wikipedia: ‘In literary criticism, an idiot plot is a fictional storyline which is “kept in motion solely by virtue of the fact that everybody involved is an idiot”,: and where the story would quickly end, or possibly not even happen, if this were not the case.’.
Beep. He’d hung up. Emily couldn’t believe what had just transpired before her very ears. “We’re breaking up.” That’s what she had heard. The line had been a bit patchy but that’s what he’d said. She’d heard it. Stunned in the moment, she merely stood still; phone still up to her ear. 6 years of her life she’d given to him; they’d moved in together just last year, engaged just a few months ago; all thrown away like it meant nothing. He didn’t even sound sorrowful in his voice as he’d said it.
It may have only been a couple of minutes but it felt like an eternity as Emily stood there wracking her brain as to what on earth could have happened; there was only a singular obvious answer of course. He’d found some stupid, dumb, bimbo bitch and he’d decided she wasn’t worth it anymore. What else could it have been? His first business trip away and this shit happens. His promotion had clearly meant he now saw himself as a big wig - top dog - bonafide asshole who could just be a playboy.
Anger took over her. She screamed a primal scream and her mobile flew from her fingers and across the room; smashing against the sideboard and the light from the screen went out. Atop the sideboard, pictures shook and tumbled before a singular one tumbled off and worked its way to the floor shattering next to the phone. She was awakened by the sound of a small whining nearby which snapped her out of her fury. “It’s ok, it’s ok” she said, bending down to pet the small beagle that looked scared next to her. “Let’s get your sorted and clean this mess up shall we?” It only took a couple of biscuits and nobody would be any the wiser to what the beagle had just witnessed and she fetched the dustpan and brush to sweep up.
The picture that had fallen was one from their engagement day, she was so happy and the look on his face was one of affection and care. However seeing that only brought back her rage, not so intense this time as nothing went flying except her as she ran around the place throwing everything she could find into suitcases and boxes and loading them into her car. A plan had formulated in her mind as she packed; she was going to get on a plane, go to the hotel where that asshole was staying and make a scene in from of his colleagues; let’s see how he handles having the ring thrown back in his face while he needs to keep his composure. She picked up the landline, dialled Isobella - her best friend - and asked her to help store some things.
A short drive later and there Emily was, unpacking suitcases and boxes into Isolbella’s garage. “I need you to look after Digby for a bit,” Emily said, “he knows you so won’t be spooked. I should only be gone a few days.” “Take as long as you need.” Isobella said. “You sure you don’t wanna talk about this first? Maybe grab a few drinks and…” “Izzy, for the love of god, don’t even try and talk me out of this, I do NOT want a lecture right now” Isobella threw her hands up and started helping unload the car. “Izzy, I promise drinks when I get back, I can tell you I’m gonna need more than a few and the ability to pass out on your sofa for the night”. A smile and a nod from Isobella told Emily all she needed to know. And now it was time to be off to catch her flight. Her USB stick in the car piled high with all the angst-iest breakup music she could find to pump herself up and keep her drive going to tell that worthload toad of a man what’s what and what he’d given up.
You might expect airport security to have given her time to think and take a reprieve from her anger; instead it only made it worse with thoughts such as “having to wait all this time to let you know you’re worthless. Couldn’t have just made it easy for me and just told me in person could you?! Noooooo, that would’ve been too easy and human for you”.
Finally after making it through security and boarding the plane, she found her seat. Now sitting alone on the plane, fear started to overcome Emily. Rage had carried her this far, completing action after action. However, now it was a long, 3 hour flight of nothing but her thoughts and the realisation of what she was about to do.